10) Furtive glances from side to side, often to achieve “shiftiness” quality. 9) Watching tennis / ping pong. 8) Looking at motor crashes. 7) Commanding headers (yeah right) on soccer fields. 6) Hyper-alert reffing: head on a swivel as I watch plays and keep an eye on offside situations. 5) Ogling women. 4) Moving head […]
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10) Furtive glances from side to side, often to achieve “shiftiness” quality. 9) Watching tennis / ping pong. 8) Looking at motor crashes. 7) Commanding headers (yeah right) on soccer fields. 6) Hyper-alert reffing: head on a swivel as I watch plays and keep an eye on offside situations. 5) Ogling women. 4) Moving head … More Top Ten Things I Will Miss About My Neck Muscles
10) Georgetown: Particularly around Lucile and 6th Ave. Hobos have long been attracted to this gritty industrial underbelly of Seattle. It offers a relatively unregulated mix of residential, retail core, and light industrial zones favorable to the lifestyle. Lately the area has become popular with hipsters who appear to be tolerant of hobo life. Notable … More Top 10 Hobo Lairs in Seattle
10) Road trips devoid of worst case pooping scenarios. 9) 96% reduction in sling time. 8) Variety of cute sounds from opening. 7) Perverse enjoyment of other people having to endure smell while I smell nothing, courtesy of tracheostomy. 6) Superfluous anus. 5) Hallie’s bizarre obsession with it… Several jingles and a new nickname: “Sexy … More Top 10 Things About Colostomy
*Winner Boaty McBoatface Runners-Up: 10) The Maggie Thatcher 9) The Angry Trump Supporter 8) HMS Big Bag of Bloatation 7) The Drunken Churchill 6) Teenage Mutant Research Ship 5) Archbishop Desmond Tutu 4) Ling Ling the Giant Panda Bear 3) The Arctic Avenger 2) Ringo the Shitty Beatle 1) The Leicester City
This list came about because we at Team NEWBY have had a series of fiascos involving the attempted procurement of a portable ramp to access friends’ houses, etc. 10) 2016: The Pedersen/Thundergun Ramp Debacle. The group F.O.R. (Friends of Ramp) led by grizzled Lowe’s employee Jim Hoffman inaugurates a stunning new era of private ramp … More Top 10 Ramp Disasters in History
10) Surprise guest appearances by Gene Hackman, Archbishop Desmond Tutu , Detlef Schrempf, Gina Lollabridgida, and that one guy. 9) Cash. 8) Microsoft team representing, getting their drink on, and rocking out. 7) The songs, forgot how many good songs the two bands had. Like meeting an old friend. 6) Interacting with people in the … More Top 10 Things About 5/14 Benefit Show
10) Have deep talk about their legacies, the nature of celebrity, and the afterlife. 9) Look for John Lennon but only find Lemmy. 8) Catch up on TV shows, Prince likes New Girl, Bowie likes old musicals. Both love slapstick comedy. 7) Make out a little. 6) Play ping pong (Prince wins easily). 5) Plan … More Top 10 Things that Bowie and Prince Would Do If They Met in the Afterlife
10) Getting to interact with the world through this technology featuring this killer voice. 9) Guilt free binge watching of anything I damn well want. 8) Sailing the high seas of the American health care system, up close and personal…Blaming Obama all the way. 7) No need to worry about such mundane things like chores, … More Top 10 Positive Things About ALS
Team Newby 