10) Road trips devoid of worst case pooping scenarios.
9) 96% reduction in sling time.
8) Variety of cute sounds from opening.
7) Perverse enjoyment of other people having to endure smell while I smell nothing, courtesy of tracheostomy.
6) Superfluous anus.
5) Hallie’s bizarre obsession with it… Several jingles and a new nickname: “Sexy poop bag ALS guy who drools guy in murka”.
4) Don’t have to endure strange wiping techniques by variety of caregivers.
3) Amazing insights into the wonders of gastro-intestinal system.
2) Modern medicine succeeds in circumventing natural order with most beneficial outcome.
1) Freedom from the tyranny of shitting – not having to live in constant fear of pooping.